Monday Blues!!

Just like all Sunday mornings Sarah laid on her bed feeling sleepy and tired. She was not particularly enthusiastic about Sunday mornings. They meant going to church at 8 in the morning and being there till almost noon and the day was almost over.  She loved Saturdays though. There was no school, no homework and long hours of play.

The thought of the long Sunday service she had to attend made Sarah lethargic to get out of her bed. She pretended to be asleep until her father woke her up. Lazily she washed up and sat by the breakfast table nibbling on her toast until her mom rushed her.

Sunday Services of Syrian Jacobite Church meant long hours of standing with folded hands and prayers mostly in Syriac and archaic Malayalam which were all Greek for the little girl to decipher.

In church she spent most of her time watching and wondering in amazement how the pious old and elderly attended the service. Her mom who stood next to her seemed involved in the service and seemed to not know what was going on around her. Her dad who was on the other side was singing along from the prayer book he had. In the Jacobite Syrian churches of Kerala men and women are segregated with men on one side and women on the other.

Then to her relief she found people sitting down. Sarah slumped down on the floor. The single bench at the back of the Church was meant for the grannies and the grandpas. Everyone else sat on the mats spread on the floor.

The parish priest Father Mathew Kottapilli stood on the pulpit with the sermon he had carefully prepared the other night, eighth chapter of the Book of John, a story of a woman caught in adultery. He scrupulously framed his words to convey the message to the eager flocks by highlighting the verses 6-8.

 … But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

Now feeling relaxed and comfortable Sarah listened to what the priest taught. It was the story of a lady being stoned by some men and how Jesus saved her with his wise and kind advice. She had no clue what ‘adultery’ meant, but she understood the story and the lesson in it. When she looked up she felt it could be Jesus himself  standing in the white robe with beard all grey by now, telling her to treat others with kindness and not to judge them for their bad as we too have bad in us. Her mind soaked up every word he said. While preparing his Sunday sermon Father Mathew might not have thought that his sermon will have such a strong impact on one of his parishioners’ minds.

On Monday, Sarah went to school all saintly and righteous. The morning sessions raced away uneventfully. After lunch the kindergarten children did not study much. She had Math and then a period where they did nothing – Free Period! Ramani teacher who taught Math continued through the free period while she corrected the notebooks. Children were allowed to do whatever they wanted as long as they didn’t disturb the teacher or the other classes.

Clad in a stiff green Kota saree with her slightly grey hair pinned into a bun, Ramani teacher looked like a figure of authority. She was calm and sensible. She knew how to handle a situation, discipline her class and deal with cases of misbehavior, naughtiness, and disobedience. The way in which she handled the fight between two boys in the class during the recess was out of the textbook and could have easily found a place in the books on quality parenting. Instead of punishing the boys for fighting she made them walk through the whole incident. The innocent four year olds demonstrated in enthusiasm the heroic acts and filmy stunts. Happy that they got a chance to show off, the two boys sprinted off to the playground. Problem solved.

But that afternoon things were going to change! When Huksheeba, a tiny girl with silky hair did something awful, the teacher felt it was an instance that called for action. This time she wanted her class to shame the little girl for what she did. Shaming was a popular disciplining strategy of that time. For any shameful behavior the kids will be allowed to shame the culprit by singing the singsong ‘shame, shame, puppy shame!’ What the ‘puppy shame’ stood for is quite unclear even at the 21^st century. With educational child psychology not as advanced as it is today, this act of shaming was considered the best in remedying social misbehaviors.

The kids seemed to enjoy the ritual provided they were not at the receiving end. It would start solemnly but as the ritual progressed the faces would light up to broad smiles.

Sarah who had enjoyed the ritual earlier could not take part in it with enthusiasm any more. In fact she couldn’t be a party to it at all. Noticing this Ramani teacher prompted her personally. But the girl was unmoved. The humiliated Huksheeba, on the verge of tears, glanced at Sarah with gratefulness. They exchanged a secret smile. A friendship was starting to bud.

But the warmth between the two, if there were any, died off soon. Within minutes time Sarah was caught chewing her pencil. It seemed the pencil lead had the flavor of her favorite ice cream. She was devouring it eagerly when some kid noticed it and promptly reported to the teacher. It was definitely something that called for the shaming ritual. The whole class broke out into the singsong once again. Sarah didn’t mind. But then she saw it. Huksheeba shaming her with all her might. She seemed to have forgotten her own humiliation a minute ago. It was not something Sarah had expected after her act of kindness towards the girl.

The poor old parish priest had left out in his day’s sermon many other parables and preaching’s of Jesus Christ. He had not talked about the alternative for "an eye for an eye" given by Jesus mentioned in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 5 verses 38-40:

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[a] 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.

Sarah sat there silently amongst the chants of shame. But she had made up her mind. She was no longer going to be amongst these “betrayers” who did not have even a mild tinge of decency to reciprocate the act of kindness she had shown towards them. She wanted to get away from there at the earliest.

Luckily for Sarah she didn’t have to wait for long. The opportunity presented itself as a bathroom break. Like any other day Ramani teacher let the kids out. Thus they went, girls after boys forming a single line with hands locked behind their back in pin drop silence. Sarah waited patiently to be the last one to go in to the toilet. She was casual and was in no hurry to get out. When she was out almost every child had gone back to the class in the same orderly fashion they had come. She took extra time to wash her hands so that the two other girls also left. She was determined not to go back. Now what should she do?

Things would soon turn terrible for Ramani teacher. Oblivious of what was in store for her, Ramani teacher continued with her correction work. She did not bother to guide the children back in as they behaved just as were instructed. She had not in the wildest of her dreams thought that she will have to deal with run-away kids and bunking classes when she opted for the career of kindergarten teacher.  

Initially the teacher did not notice the missing child and neither did the other kids. When she looked up from her books she could not find Sarah! Her searching eyes peered through the faces of all the forty children in the class. No, Sarah was not there. She was missing! The teacher did not lose her cool. She waited for some time. The girl could be coming back soon. She must have taken some extra moments in the loo. Then she went out of the classroom and searched.  The toilets, the slides and swings in the park, the little room where the aayas sat and the staffroom!  The girl could not be found.

Barbed Wire Fence

Panic-stricken she returned to the class. Hiding her desperation she asked the girls whether they had seen Sarah during the bathroom break. Now the kids too noticed the missing child. The entire class broke out in commotion giving out their speculations on what could have happened to Sarah. Many told the teacher that some kidnappers, ‘pichakkar’ might have caught her. Girish, the naughty boy in class seemed to go a few steps further with his imagination. He suggested that probably they would by now have popped off her eyes and made marks on her legs with a burning hot iron spatula. They might see her again on the roads during ‘Shivaratri.’ When it came to understanding the ‘dark fantasies’ of her class of four-year old ones, Ramani teacher proved herself to be a novice. Though she rubbished the idea the teacher was now not sure. The school had no proper brick compound wall and had some loose barbed wire fencing through which a four year old can easily slide out without much effort.

Meanwhile Sarah was having the time of her life. She had ventured out to explore the unseen terrains of her school. Skipping and hopping she walked through the tall grass picking up shiny stones and tender leaves on her way.

Then she noticed a tiny old house. She had never been to that part of her school and didn’t know of the staff quarters. She went up to check out the house and saw two babies of the same age. They looked like mirror reflections. Sarah couldn’t hold back her curiosity, “Whose kids are they? How could they be alike?” She called out to the lady and they started to chit chat. The concept of twins was something new to her. She had not seen any till that time.

The mother of the twins seemed to know her. She offered her some cookies and engaged her in chit chat. Sarah did not mention anything about the shaming incident. Soon she heard the honking of the school buses. It was time to go home.

Eager to get back home and put away all the treasures she had collected in her goodie box, Sarah rushed back to her class.  She seemed to have forgotten all about the shaming incident and the eventual betrayal. She knocked on the door of her class and walked in. She went straight to her seat, took out her pencil box and carefully placed the tender leaves and the shiny stones inside. She got ready to go home.

Ramani teacher watched the girl prepare her bag in silence. The wittiest teacher was now short of words, she did not think of giving any sort of punishments to prevent similar instances in future. She just heaved a sigh of relief. A weight was lifted off her shoulders. At that moment she did not care where the child had been, she was only relieved that the child was found.

 If anyone opts for teaching career because it is a safe one involving zero risks please take a step back and contact Ramani teacher. She would beg to differ.